And Lo, Mattu went to the top of the mountain, and there was in the presence of the Lord. And there Mattu saw many strange signs and cried, “Lord, is that a burning bush?”
“Nay,” replied the Lord, “It is but cgi, for I am now eco-friendly.”
And Mattu was sore afraid for the power of the Lord was revealed to him. And the Lord said, “Mattu, thou art a scribe and have the ear of the scribes of the world. Therefore I give to thee these Commandments, that thou shalt pass them to thine fellow scribes, that they shall know what their Lord requires of them.”
And Mattu searched but could find nought but a memory stick, and that of a mere 125MB. “No tablets of stone, Lord?” Mattu asked.
“No, Mattu,” the Lord replied, “Thy Commandments are but a text file contained within thy stick, for I no longer do hard copy.”
And Mattu returned to the bottom of the mountain and gave the Commandments of the Lord to his fellow scribes. And they were as follows.
- Thou shalt entertain thy readers at all times. This is thy purpose in life.
- Thou shalt strive to be creative and write that which is new, and for this thy readers will thank thee mightily
- Thou shalt not plagiarise, for this is the greatest sin in the eyes of the Lord.
- Thou shalt write something on each and every day that the Lord gives you and know that the day that thou fails to write is cursed.
- Thou shalt read something each and every day, even if it be only the back of thy cereal packet at breakfast. For reading shall be as thy food, and good writing shall be manna.
- And thou shalt not hide thyself away from the world, but engage with thy fellow man and listen to his woes, that ye shall know the burdens of man.
- And the Lord giveth thee many fields to sow thy seed, and they are print, stage broadcast and web, and ye shall not fear to sow thy words in many fields.
- And thou shall fear no genre, for the warrior may be romanced and the serial killer may ride the range.
- And thou shall take wisdom from thy editor, though he be a royal pain in the ass.
10. And thou shall format according to the needs of thy media, 12pt Courier or whatever, though it all seems rather stupid.